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Don’t know if you saw the CBC special the other night about ‘Hyper Parenting and Coddled Kids’ but it was an interesting look at how a generation has come with this new experiment where parents are constantly hovering and kids are being so coddled and how it is affecting them in social circles.

It basically covered all the areas: parents who don’t let their children get hurt, won’t let them have to work out social difficulties when they are young, spending ridiculous amounts of money on their ‘development’, all the way to being over-involved in their university process and even their workplace.

The best line of the night was this: if you can’t let them go into the world when they are old enough, you have not done your job properly.

Some of the things they were saying made just good common sense: for instance, by never letting your child get hurt you are stopping them from being able to think on the spot and make good decisions when it comes to social settings.  By giving your child the best of everything–you are creating a ‘gotta have it my way’ mentality.

The interesting conclusion was that it will take many years before we figure out everything!

There was another observation about those who hyper parent and coddle their kids: we don’t believe in competition in a sports way anymore (everyone gets a trophy) but we are over competitive when it somes to our kids in ‘behaviour, education and social development’ (my kid(s) is better then yours).

Who doesn’t understand the pressure–you hate seeing your child get teased and so you immediately tag the other one with ‘being a bully’ and so you do whatever you can to remove your child from that situation.  Your child gets pushed and so mom and dad are going to push back.  You decide a certain path for ‘raising’ your child and if others don’t, you have to have evidence that your kid is doing so much better.  and the list goes on and on and on.

The real kicker comes with this: child raising in this sense they discovered isn’t about the child but the parents search for greater self-esteem.

I wish there was a guaranteed way for my child to become the adult who never has problems, never does anything wrong, always has success in everything they do, and is the model citizen of faith for all others to follow.

The truth is, part of the first crew that became adults under such raising made this comment: they have become so dependant on mom and dad because the pressure to make a mistake is too great.  They have come to believe that if making mistakes had been allowed–they would have learned better how to be on their own.

In the end–that really should be our goal with our kids–maybe the biggest thing I got from that for today’s parent (including myself) is that the child doesn’t have to be the best or better, but simply be able to live among their peers–when they make their mistakes, it doesn’t mean everything about me as a parent has to be called into question–less stress on my kids as children means less distress on me as a parent.

Let the kids play again–don’t worry about bruised knees or wounded egos for a bit

God Bless and Have a Good Day

     While most people were probably watching the Grammy’s (and I admit, eventually I got around to it as well) last night I found myself watching the documentary, Facing Ali–where all his great opponents, Frazier, Foreman, Norton, Spinks, Shavers, Chuvalo and others spoke about how it was to face the one that was self-proclaimed, THE GREATEST!

     I am a huge fan of Ali–there will never be (in my opinion) another athlete like him.  True to my estimation, this documentary solidified my view of him as the most electrifying and stunning athlete in my lifetime (Is it any wonder he was named the 20th century’s greatest athlete?)

     There were things that I was corrected on (Norton finally put to rest the myth that had Ali fighting with a broken jaw in their fight from the second round on and said it was a lie, Ali’s jaw was broken in the 15th round just before Norton won)

     There were other things that was confirmed (so many of them, Norton, Shavers, Lyle and others all talked about how stepping into the ring with Ali changed their lives both in monetary ways and in more famous ways–they all thanked Ali for giving them their shot)

     Even though some of the fights were 35 years ago, the old magic is still there to watch Ali go toe to toe with Foreman in their classic rope-a-dope and then to see him and Frazier go like animals or his rematch with Spinks.

     But, there was one thing that I found interesting–when Ali fought Frazier and defeated him–afterwards Ali used that as an opportunity to tell the world that ‘Allah’ proved himself to be the true God.

     What did Ali ever say though when he lost?

     Don’t you find it funny that when things go good people use that as proof of the truth of their God but seem to be silent when things are bad?  Does God really take much interest in boxing matches to declare who He really is?

     You hear so many people using things like ‘American Idol results’ all the way to ‘the winners of wars’ all suggesting that God won the day and so He must really be the One.  If such were the case, why is there such a distortion in who wins? 

     One of my favourite lines of cheers has Cliff lamenting his manhood by declaring: ‘I am ashamed God made me a man.’ quick to reply, Carla says: ‘I’m sure God ain’t doing much bragging about it either.’

     Maybe, it is time to look at the issue of God more seriously then ascribing every action of men as an action of God!

I wait with anticipation for January!  My favourite shows to watch come on: 24, American Idol & a new session of the Biggest Loser.

However, this year I am disappointed with all three. 

First, I think 24 has run its course–there is nothing new, nothing unexpected and perhaps the most exciting, action packed television series has seen the last of its great days. (Hopefully I am wrong)

Second, the other two are really not that good to watch either so far.  What used to be a funny, enjoyable experience has turned to alll about how horrible people can be to one another.  Something is wrong with these shows that they can’t rely on what made them great in the past.  Every week, it just seems that they have to get more negative, more cheezy and more biting in order to make the show.  I really think this is a sign that both these shows are in the end times!

One sure sign that anything is running to a stop is when the negative reactions to others take over the positives.  Watch someone’s conversation about something and if everything is soured when it used to be rosy–you know something is really going to happen that is not good.

Husbands and wives can no longer talk to their friends about how good things are going but have to use those times to simply cut their ‘beloved’ one to pieces.  People in the workplace are just constantly grumbling and not enjoying any moment of their day.  Churches used to be filled with compliments now can only be filled with high pressure criticisms and the like.  What is going on?  The show is losing its appeal!

Is it any wonder that the apostle Paul had this word of advice–‘If you go on hurting each other and tearing each other apart, be careful, or you will completely destroy each other.’ (Galatians 5:15 NCV)

If you want things to be revived–why not try to look for the good, the things that are burden-lessening, and maybe spreading that thought in your mind will find it’s way to your mouth which will make it’s way to someone else’s ear which will soon infiltrate their heart and what once was a show losing it’s mass appeal will rebound to be the smash hit it was at the beginning!

Confused?  Maybe instead of going the road of constant criticism and backbiting, it is time to see the things in your life as greater blessings then burdens.

God Bless and Have a Good Day

      ‘If you can do what you love, you’re lucky and if you can make a good living at it, you’re blessed.’

You have heard things like that before I am sure.  Too many people have bought into the lie that having to do things is the worst thing in the world.  The truth is that effort, effort that requires us to sweat either physically or mentally is good for us.  One of the basic truths we live by is that we have been made in the image of God.  While we have in our view a God who rested on the seventh day, we must also make the connection that God is One who worked the first 6.

We have seen that the first four characteristics about God and His work are as follows:

1) God works, so work isn’t evil or a burden

2) God’s work brought order out of chaos–from Adam in the garden of Eden onward we realize that when we don’t put effort into any area of life (workplace, home, relationships, church) God’s good order is once again replaced by chaos.

3) God’s work was pleasing to Him–our work can be pleasing to us–what kind of results do we want from our efforts?

4) God rested from His work–we will enjoy our work when we can rest properly.

The fifth aspect might be the most important one: God’s work arose out of His self-giving love!  There was nothing about us that demanded we be created.  There was nothing lacking in God’s experience that demanded He create us.  You will cometimes hear that God was lonely and wanted companionship so He created us.  The truth is, God wasn’t lonely–He enjoyed perfect relationships with the Son & the Spirit.

Why did God create us then?  Because He loved us!  It is similar to when parents decide to have a child either through birth or adoption–we do so because of love.  There are some who are selfish and have other less worthy reasons but for the most part–this is probably the closest we will get to understanding God’s reasons for working in creation–we want to give our love to someon else.

How in the world do we get to this point with our own efforts?

This is the key–I don’t believe you get there by making it happen, by deciding one day that everything you do is going to arise out of your love.  But, it is something that we look at seriously.  It is not hard to imagine that the people working in places like Haiti and others are working out of their love.  But what about the person whose job doesn’t seem to reach areas like that?

WHo says it doesn’t?  Cannot everyone’s efforts be used to better someone else?  Cannot everything we do not only be an expression of our love for the duties we perform but also a way to enhance someone else?  In other words, if our greatest love was our fellow man-can you think of how any job (as long as it was honest) could be seen as arising out of our love?

God Bless and Have a Good Day

Would love to see Saints win but I think it will be the Colts

Usually I would have posted something about the impact of this man on our world–none more important than his infusion (at least into the debate) that the best way to respond to violence and social injustice is not through more violence but taking the words of Jesus from teh Sermon on the Mount seriously enough to live them out.

But, Larry James had a great week’s worht of blogs on the messages of this man and how they can be used to continue the ‘dream’ today–even listen to President Obama’s sermon from the same blog

look him up here: www.larryjamesurbandaily.blogspot.com

God Bless and Have a Good Day

One of the things needed more then anything in regards to our activities in life in regard to responsibilities to duty is to understand the truth and lies of certain myths.

Myth number 1–’hard work never killed anybody’

Millions of people throughout history have been shoved into difficult work situations where there was no relaxation or rest or proper working conditions or too much stress ect., ect., and have paid the ultimate price–an early death.

Even today, you have multi-millionaire CEO’s knowing their work is killing them still putting in 16 hour work days and stressing over everything.

Truth–’a little hard work never killed anyone.’

Notice the subtle change in the sayings: a little!  The facts are that a little hard work is good for you, to have to use your energy is important.

What is the catch in all of this?

One of the things that is important when looking at reasons to work is the one thing God made sure He did–He rested!

When the Israelites were in Egypt they had suffered greatly and part of it was the fact that Pharaoh gave them no rest from such difficult labour.  When they were to enter the new land and become their own masters–one of the most important laws of Israelite life was to make sure everyone and everything received proper rest!

Part of our problem today with our attitude to work is the fact that many people are not getting enough rest.  So many people have no time to unwind.  We work out tails off and then if we have any time off from our industry jobs we are working our tails off some more never having moments of rest and relaxation.

Myth–’a tireless worker is your best worker’

If God rested–there is no reason for us not to think an appropriate amount of rest time is good for us to.

Truth–’a rested worker is your best worker’

The importance of working at things can never be overstated and one of the best ways to get the results we actually want or need from our efforts is to ensure that there is an appropriate time to rest.

One of the secrets the Israelites taught us with rest was this: this was a time they could celebrate in the good things of God.

How are you using your ‘rest’ moments?

God Bless and Have a Good Day

     God saw what He made and it was good!

     God saw everything He had made and it was very good!

So goes the summation first of God’s daily work in creation and then His overall view of the entire creation project.  You ever find yourself busy in some major project and it is going to take a number of days but after each day, you can feel good about your effort and work because you accomplished not everything you eventually wanted but some good things and then when it is finally done and the work is over you can feel really good because it is finally done.

We have been looking at reasons to engage in work–why total relaxation is not according to our calling and why choosing not to be active is dangerous for our overall well-being.

One of the things to notice about following God’s example in working is the fact that God’s work was pleasing to Him.  This can be challenging to us–how does work become pleasing to us?  How does going to the daily grind become something that we look forward to?  In a culture like ours where many people have a negative view of the work-place or doing things that require extra effort, how does it become something pleasing?

Listen to the conversations around a bunch of different venues: your workplace, volunteers at a community project, churches etc and you get the impression that everything being done is being done grudgingly.

How was God’s work pleasing to Him?

1) It produced the results He wanted!

Whether it was His work in creating the world or in redeeming the world through His Son-God was pleased with what He had to do.

Maybe for us–in whatever actions we are undertaking–our jobs, our churches, our volunteering–we need to re-examine what our results need to be.

If the only result you are looking for is to be a millionaire by the age of 27–you probably aren’t going to love what you are doing (you might–but most of us won’t).

But, what if our results are something like this:

Being able to make a difference in someone’s life, being able to provide the necessities of life for you kids, being able to volunteer some time to make some other people enjoy things.

God was pleased with His work because everything He did was good for others.  I wonder if we could do the same?

Why do we work?

1) God does

2) Brings order instead of chaos

3) It is pleasing

P.S.  1st weekend in football playoffs–Drew went 0-4, 2nd weekend–Drew went 2-4, wonder what the 3rd weekend will look like?  Here goes–Colts beat the Jets and Saints beat the Vikings.

     What would you do if you didn’t have to do anything?

In today’s world that is a question that many people think is a wonderful possibility.  The truth is that for the vast majority of us it is not realistic to ever imagine it happening.  The problem is that many people today try their best to live like it is realistic.

If God works and we are in His image and it is good for us to as well–then the fact that we have to ‘do’ something shouldn’t be seen as a horrible thing.

Everyone knows the truth of two things:

1) Laziness doesn’t make us feel good about ourselves.  We can justify our laziness by declaring that we just can’t do anything but in truth, doing nothing doesn’t ‘fit’ well with us.

2) Not having anything to do can draw us very closely to a characteristic that no one appreciates: being a busybody!  So many people are too involved in being nosy that they need to be involved in something that takes up their time.

      When we consider God’s work–one of the first things we are told in Scripture is how God’s work brought order out of chaos.

     Now, think about this carefully–what happens if you do not take the needed effort to accomplish something?

Do things stay orderly or do they move into chaos?

Look at your home, your family, your workplace, your church, your finances, your physical body etc.  What happens if you always justify not putting forth any effort in taking care of it? 

Do things tend to go smoothly?  Or, might things start to look overwhelmingly difficult to control?

We note that one of the reasons work can be seen as a blessing is the fact that like God, our work can help bring order to what is chaotic.  Might it be difficult?  Might it take a great effort?  Absolutely–but the fruit of a well worked field is a lot sweeter then one of chaos.

Laziness does not make our lives better, we just kind of settle for slack.

Why do we work?

1) Because God does

2) Because order replaces chaos

‘I passed by the field of a sluggard, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense, and behold, it was all overgrown with thorns; the ground was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was broken down.  Then I saw and considered it; I looked and received instruction.  A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.’ Proverbs 24:30-34

God Bless and Have a Good Day and if you need to–find something to do!

  We have been doing a study on Sunday mornings at the proper view of work–involving all aspects of work–mostly our industry jobs, our work at home, our works invovled in the spiritual life and being involved in social projects.

    Why has negativity overrun so many peoples views of their positions in life in regards to work?  How many people do you know that feel like their jobs are such heavy burdens and that the life of no responsibility would be the ultimate life?

     Let me throw one thing out there: vacations are great because they are not normal!  I have a feeling that if they became a part of normal life–vacations would become something we didn’t find ‘full-life’ in as well.

     How should jobs be viewed?  How should we look at the things we ‘have’ to do in life?

One of the things scripture points us to is that all of us have been made in the image of God.  Now if our view of God is one of say the ancient Greeks where the gods are up in the sky not troubled with the things of men simply feasting and relaxing then I suppose we would be right in thinking work is a sign of something out of whack.  But, according to scripture, our very first picture of God is that He is involved in work.

     What does that suggest to us?

It is in our interest to be involved in responsibility somehow!  It is in our interest to not simply be lounging around.  The facts of idelness is clear–if you busy yourselves in the art of laziness, everything about you is going to be sluggish.

There is nothing wrong with desiring more financial capability–but that is different then desiring to be lazy.

If we could look at our jobs with the idea that not only do we ‘have’ to work because life is such a burden without it, but we ‘have’ to work because it is a benefit to do so–life on the job won’t be such a burden and shouldn’t be such a burden.

Number one reason to work: Because God does!

More to come–

Gotta say–went 0 for 4 on wildcard weekend–unbelievable Packer game though–go saints

     ‘Well your problems aren’t any worse then their problems.’

     ‘You know the Bible says, ‘all things work together for good.”

     One of the most miserable counsel to receive in times of great difficulty is the counsel that offers a few nuggets of scripture in a cold, meaningless way.  When we think problems are reduced to simple bumper sticker solutions (even if quoting a ‘portion’ of truth) we are not going to do anyone any favours.

     Either the apostle Paul didn’t know the truths of the very comforting words he was writing or he was a failure at following his own advice.  For Paul, the simple answers that people use did not have the easy solution to big problems that some people think today they should.  For instance, look at his despair in 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 and you don’t get the impression that a simple: ‘everything will work out’ worked for him.  Now, it was true that everything would work out but that is after a great intense personal struggle.  I didn’t hear any angels whispering in Jesus’ ear the night before his death when he was in great agony and praying drops of blood the following: ‘all things work together for good.’  Would any suggest today that Jesus over exaggerated his problems?  Was Jesus wrong in wishing a certain cup would pass?

     In short–some times simple answers (even with a kernel of truth) are stupid answers to people with big questions.  As Job said to his friends who were offering the ‘common wisdom’: ‘I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all.’ (Job 16:2)

     So, what do we do with words that might be true but should be used in such simplistic ways?  Examine them a little closer–For instance–Romans 8:28–where everything works together for good–was not written by itself but followed a lenghty discourse on the suffering of this present time.  Paul assures all of us that glory waits us and it will be greater then our suffering but listen closely to the suffering description–pains of childbirth, groaning inwardly, needing the Spirit to help our weaknesses.  Doesn’t sound like things you just wave a hand at and everything is now wonderful.

     The other thing is this–I don’t know too many people who don’t know the simple answers!  Like Job, most of us have heard ‘many such things.’  The last thing we need to hear is something that is so simple.

Maybe there is some truth in these words as well:

‘Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.’ (Hebrews 13:3)

‘If one member suffers, all suffer together.’ (1 Corinthians 12:26)

‘Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience’ (Colossians 3:12)

Listen closely to the following from a man who suffered patiently:

‘Then Job answered and said: “How you have helped him who has no power!  How you have saved the arm that has no strength!  How you have counseled him who has no wisdom, and plentifully declared sound knowledge!  With whose help have you uttered words, and whose breath has come out from you?’ (Job 26:1-4)

Now, if you are unaware–Job is speaking sarcasm.

May all ofus look at the sufferings of others and not offer simplistic (stupid) answers using even some truths about God in a flippant heartless way.  Instead, let us recognize the battle, the struggle and their difficulty and offer a listening ear, a prayer-filled response and an arm to hold them with.

God will see things through, crosses get exchanged for resurections but there still is some strong moments of agony beforehand.  Don’t easily dismiss another’s burden.

God Bless and Have a Good Day